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Your Style, Your Way

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Life is fleeting. The last 24 hours has been a stark reminder of just how much. We are all destined to leave this earth at some point and it’s made me think a lot about what I’m doing and most importantly, the legacy I want to leave behind. Everybody can’t be a Kobe, but we can certainly learn from his example. I’ve read so much in the past few hours about his life after basketball. He was a savvy businessman. He took risks. He shared his rewards. His legacy is complicated, for sure. But, I believe there was far more good in his story than bad. We are human. We make mistakes. Forgiveness is divine. As I hope eternal rest will be for Kobe and all who were lost yesterday. He was a literal and figurative giant among men. Rest in power, Kobe. You will never be forgotten. #RIPKobe 📸 @christinajonesphoto

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When I started my blog I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. Everyone kept telling me you HAVE to get out and connect with people. So … I grabbed my bag and I went! Right off the bat, I noticed how much older I was than everyone else. I felt excruciatingly out of place at most of the events I went to. But, no matter how uncomfortable meeting new people felt, I kept going and I kept doing. When you’re older, you tend to think you have a monopoly on wisdom. But you know what? Going to events and meeting new people like @thisjenngirl , @city.whit , @thefunfoodiemama @thebusybee.co @hotcoaching @gracielaalexandra_ , @bits.of.berry @ohhmygalyy @_blossompretty_ and @christinajonesphoto (to name a few) has taught me so much. Most of all, it’s taught me what fearlessness looks like. Each and every one of these amazing young women has inspired me to go, do and be more than I ever thought I could. They’re out here every day in these internet streets carpe’ing all the Diems! Their examples are what keep me going! Tag someone in the comments who inspires you to seize the day and tell them: Thanks, sis … I see you. #ageisjustanumber 📸 @christinajonesphoto

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Reinventing yourself doesn't necessarily mean changing who you are. I think of reinvention as a way of getting to the heart of who you are by 1) examining things you enjoy and 2) using skills you already have to do new things. Here’s a good way to think about it: If you’ve always been described as a “people person,” it probably means you’re great at building relationships, thinking fast on your feet, or negotiating and listening. Take note of these skills and the ways you can apply them creatively. You might be surprised by how out-of-the-box your thinking can get. I started by asking myself how I could use my love of reading and writing to do something new? That’s how I ended up going back to school at the age of 49. We all have special gifts. I found mine. What’s yours? #nevertoolate 📸 @christinajonesphoto

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So, what’s my next move? When I started thinking about what I wanted to do with the second half of my life, it was a question I asked myself a lot.
Deciding to do new things. You don’t have to be scared of it. You don’t have to make a public declaration and shout it from the rooftops. You don’t even need permission from other people.
I made a choice at 49 years old to go back to school and get my Masters degree. Reaching the midpoint of my life was a blessing, but it also forced me to start thinking about what this life meant beyond being my mother’s daughter, my husband’s wife and my daughter’s mother.
I leaned into it and got laser-focused on re-envisioning my calling, re-establishing my identity and re-focusing on me.
Some common things I was doing that kept me stuck were: -Thinking my familial position defined who I was instead of the roles I played. I am so much more than what I do and who I do it for. - Failing to come to terms with the real me. I learned to embrace the fact that I’m a flawed human being who makes mistakes. - Misaligning my words and my actions. The universe oftentimes returns to you exactly what you put out and I’ve found one of the best ways to get what you want is to talk about what you want.
I stopped underestimating myself and started adopting a new mindset. You’re never too old and it’s never too late— unless you decide that it is. Life is about the verbs. So experience, explore and most of all enjoy.

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A while back, one of my colleagues told me that I have the ability to light up a room when I enter. If I’m being honest, it wasn’t always that way. Years ago, I was in a really dark state of mind. When I didn’t get what I wanted, the more unhappy I became and the more it showed. Being difficult didn’t serve me. It only dimmed my light. Until I gave myself permission to become a better version of myself. I had to come to terms with the fact that my happiness was my responsibility. It didn’t just happen. It was a skill I had to acquire. It was hard, humbling work. And it proved to me that anyone — even me — could change for the better when you think you can and decide you will. #nevertoolate
Dress @boutique221_north 📸 @christinajonesphoto

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They’ll say you’re too old, but age is just a number.
They’ll say it’s too late, but it can’t be soon enough.
They’ll say it’s not like you, but it’s the most “like you” you’ve ever felt.
They’ll say you should stay, but you know you should go.
They’ll say you should follow, but you know you should lead.
They'll say you can't win, but with intention and consistency, there's no way you can lose.
The point is: It doesn’t matter what “they” say, only what you believe.

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